Here is your starguide for today.
AQUARIUS: The cold’s getting you down. Try turning all the lights on. Lucky mineral: coal.
ARIES: It’s time to show them who’s boss – in case they think it’s you.
CANCER: Your ideal partner is just around the corner. Watching. All night long.
CAPRICORN: An elderly relative needs cheering up. Tell them your iPhone exploded.
GEMINI: With Christmas fast approaching, it’s time to finish last year’s turkey.
LEO: Parenting can be stressful, but chloroform isn’t the answer.
LIBRA: Try to master a new hobby. There must be something you’re good at.
PISCES: A neighbour annoys you with a kind gesture.
SAGITTARIUS: All your evil plans are shaping up nicely. Lucky gemstone: Kryptonite.
SCORPIO: If your dog has fleas the size of rabbits try using a smaller magnifying glass.
TAURUS: With Mercury in Sagittarius anything could happen.
VIRGO: Carry a sausage.