What a lovely day
for painting a face on a potato,
leaving it by your neighbour’s door,
ringing the bell,
hiding when they answer
and saying:
“We have been observing your Earth.”


What Goes Up

Before Newton came,
we were floating around.
Now gravity exists,
we are safe on the ground –

or something like that;
I’m no PhD:
I was struck on the head
by a pumpkin, you see.

Diary: Wednesday 17 April 2019

It’s so hard to know what to buy people for Christmas, especially when you’ve forgotten them and it’s already Easter. Take my nephew, Josh. He’s training to be a neurologist, so I bought him a hand-drill and a magnifying glass. He said I needed my head examined. Of course, I politely refused. Making my excuses, I quickly left and hopped into a taxi.
“What’s wrong with your leg?” asked the driver. Continue reading “Diary: Wednesday 17 April 2019”

I Bought the Moon

I bought the Moon for 20K
from a guy in Ninny’s Bar.
He said he worked at NASA
and he smoked a big cigar.

He said: “A shrewd investor
is impossible to resist.
I knew you loved a bargain
by the sundial on your wrist.

“Here’s the deed of ownership.
The Moon is yours alone.
I’m off to Planet Vegas
in a rocket that I own…”

Oldman & Younger #1

YOUNGER  Tell me, O Master: Why do the stars all glister in the sky? Are they the souls of holy saints who shone as beacons in their earthly lives, leading the sinful multitudes towards the light? Are these those honoured spirits that seem to twinkle in their dance of joy – perhaps that mortal eyes might learn of Heaven’s glory? Tell me, O Master, for I long to know… Continue reading “Oldman & Younger #1”