He’d fluffed all his lines in a silly school play
and alone in his room he was sobbing away.
I told him how once, when I was his age,
it happened to me: “…then I ran off the stage.
But you stayed till the end and acted your part;
that you’re feeling ashamed is breaking my heart:
I’m so proud of you! Yes, smile; good lad.
You conquered your demons; I – ” “…You OK, Dad?”
I had a dream where the crust of the Earth was a cube: six perfect squares of continental plates. I lived at the centre of the side called Africa. Continue reading “The Earth is Flat”
When you bought me a dog called Fido, I thought the name was a joke and voted for ‘Bobby’.
“My first husband was Bobby,” you said.
So Fido it was. Continue reading “Fido”
“Tell me what you saw,” said the entity known on Earth as William Webb Ellis.
“Well,” I said, “It was the shape of a rugby ball and as big as the Albert Hall. It flew from East to West in less than three seconds.” Continue reading “The Rugby Match”
On the very day it was proven that William Shakespeare’s grave had been disturbed soon after burial, I purchased Oliver, my lovely green parrot. A strange coincidence, for I came to believe that Oliver was the reincarnation of the Bard himself. Continue reading “Shakespeare’s Other Grave”
Once upon a time, a Lamborghini Diablo SV stopped outside Hampton Court Palace. King Henry VIII looked out of a casement and witnessed it himself. The machine raised and lowered its retractable headlamps before speeding off. Continue reading “The Lamborghini”
There was a poor farmer who found a fortune on his land – a hoard of gold coins. He could tell that the money had been left there long ago, perhaps by someone who was now dead. Continue reading “A Short Tale of One Gold Coin”
In the annals of my boyhood memories there is a treasured page I call: ‘The Day of the Blackberries’. Another name for it might be: ‘Dad’s Final Birthday’ – for even at the age of eight I understood that he was dying. Continue reading “The Day of the Blackberries”
“A full bag today, Albert.”
“There’s a lot of them brown envelopes – War Office ones… ”
“Any news from Tommy, lately?”
“No.” Continue reading “Albert’s Great War”
My limousine stops. Fans surge forward, trying to break through the ranks of security. Normally I don’t inform the media, but today I’ve made an exception. Someone opens the door and I step out. Familiar and strange, my old school stands, framed by a riot; my name is screeched and I wave, lamely. Continue reading “School Star”
O what dreamers young boys often are:
My son once thought he’d be a movie star:
A notion that began on that fateful day
His teacher said, “You’re starring in a play!”
He was so excited to have the leading part Continue reading “My Son, My Hero”